Hey, Waffle....

Have any suggestions for Halloween? What are your plans?

manic self-publicist

Here is my ad for the Quarter Rat Publication, to be hitting hotel lobbies, strip clubs, massage parlors and beer soaked bars across the French Quarter this month. Check out their web site with back issues. Very funny stuff. It's a publication directed toward the locals. Lot's of humor from those in the service industry. Almost a venue for everyone to share the aggravation of living and working in a tourist hot spot.

THE QUARTER RAT

I share the feelings. I drove taxi for five years at night on the Jersey Shore. Yea, like the TV show. When drunken assholes who pay your bills it's like being stuck in an abusive relationship. I am convinced that most serial killers at one time worked in the service industry. Bartenders, servers, cab drivers and hookers, we all know what it's like.

Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippy, good timer, manic self-publicist, terribly bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch.

I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS

My friend Russell has been telling me about a Jim Carey film the he worked as a background actor on. Russell played a prison inmate in "I love you Phillip Morris" During the shoot, someone lent my friend the novel that the film was based on. Funny true story, great cast and writing.

It probably will never be released in the United States due to the openly gay theme.  You would think that by now that attitudes would be a little more relaxed after Brokeback Mountain. Evidently even humorous homosexuality poses a threat to the fabric of America. When it comes to controlling the economy and national defense I lean to the right. However, I don't endorse conservatives controlling social morays and censorship of media.  

What else is on?

I have a couple of friends who are big fans of the show "Smallville" They were literally counting down the hours until the tenth season started. I tried to watch the show, I just can't get into it. Even though I am a cartoonist, the whole super hero comic book genre never interested me. How could I identify with those characters? Super powers? Defending mankind from evil villains? Give me X ray vision, I'll be downtown at lunch time watching secretaries.

If asked what my favorite Television show is, I can't answer. There is really nothing on TV that will cause me to drop the nothing I am doing to watch. You have to reschedule your life because "Dancing with the stars" is on? Never seen it my life, along with every other top rated show. Hell, I forget to watch shows that I'm a background extra on.

When pressed for an answer if there ever was a show that "I had to be home and watch, never missed an episode of" it was Moonlighting. I think that was the last time TV held my interest. I've tried to watch other shows, nothing else seemed as well written. I'll have to try and find all of the seasons on DVD. (Well except for the last season, I think I stopped watching it half way through.) If anything else ever comes on close to the calibur of Moonlighting, I may pick up the remote.

Meet my old man

I got into this blogging thing as just a way to vent. Screams and cursing into the wind of the internet, not caring if I am heard, just needing to get something off of my chest. One blog I started about Father's Day was about my better memories of my father. I found that after I became a father, I became less critical of my own. I tried to remember his best qualities, his talents, his humor.

A few days ago I was contacted by a man that had served with my father in the Philippines. He sent me photographs that I had never seen before. They were of a fishing trip that landed a 300 lb Pacific Marlin. I remember hearing the story when I was growing up. Mom always said it was a bullshit fish story. Well, I just saw the pictures, it's all true.

FRANK STYLES U.S.N.

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm through with standing in line
To clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be...


Last night was the wrap parties for the film I was working on. The background extras had theirs at Club ampersand. More of a higher class joint that I have been in since arriving in NOLA. People I had spent the past two weeks with running and sweating with were there. This time we were stepping on each other's feet on the dance floor.

Film people work hard. Most folks have no idea the long grueling hours that production people put in. Production assistants, hair and wardrobe, grips, actors and stunt people put in anywhere from 12 to 16 hours a day for months at a time. So when it's done, these artists need to cut loose.

At first I didn't want to go, I had spent almost two weeks with these sweaty muthers in holding. The last idea of fun for me was to be crammed into a club with them. My friend Russell told me how uncommon it is for a background wrap party, and this being one of the largest film productions in New Orleans this year I shouldn't miss it. I'm glad I didn't.

It wasn't the type of club you would usually find me in, but I had fun. Youngsters dancing with glow sticks and illuminated hula hoops, generous friends from the set who were quick to share whatever they had. Drop dead hotties on the dance floor. Good times, my friend Bobby pointed out that there were no fights or skirmishes despite the diverse crowd.

I of course approached all of this with the eye of a journalist to document it for this blog. My night wasn't going to be complete until I made it into the VIP room. We could catch a glimpse of it from the dance floor. A second floor window looked down upon the crowd as the VIP's danced with drinks held high. We got to get up there I told my friend.

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial, well
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar



He walked up to the bouncer guarding the steps like he belonged there and got ushered right in. I was stopped the the Ving Raymes of security. I eventually was allowed in after a handful of people staggered out. The VIP room was kind of boring. I saw a few things of interest, but after you have partied with strippers nothing really surprises you.

I wasn't going to let this opportunity go with out being a drunken asshole of some kind. As I was leaving the VIP area the DJ started to play the Beatle's Twist and Shout. So in a very Ferris Bueller moment I found myself dancing in front of the window looking over the dance floor. A spastic bump in grind with some trashed girl half my age. My friend Adrian looked up from the dance floor to see me removing my ugly shirt to reveal an uglier torso as the night was just kicking into high gear.

The song ended, I miss-buttoned my shirt up and staggered down the steps past Marcellus Wallace who had let me up stairs. I told my buddies that I was ready to go home to blog about my night at my first wrap party. I'm sure the "Inner circle" folks have much more interesting stories than I, but for a 47 year old cab driver from NJ, it was fun.

< (I am still 5 years older than their combined ages.)

Butt Freaks From Outer Space

A video slide show of the story board art from Butt Freaks From Outer Space. I first had this idea last summer. Originally written as an animation project, it is now intended for low budget indy. I looked into costs for a high quality animation, about $3,500 per minute. I refuse to even pay that much for sex. So a live action film will be the cheapest way to go on this script. I have heard first hand how even crummy no budget films get scooped up by distributors for $20,000 to $30,000. It's the leading industry down here right now, why not try to jump on board?


Kind of a 1950's B monster movie meets 1970's exploitation meets parody. A disillusioned man in black rescues porn stars from a butt raping alien named Earl Grey. Romantic comedy.

Here is the YOUTUBE version because of copyright stuff. This was the best song I could get for nothing. Actually, I kind of dig this song on the video. Puts a different spin on the story.

My name is Eric

The other day in my blog I mentioned that due to my ignorance of recent television and films, that I could be standing next to a celebrity and never know it. It happened, sort of. While on the set we saw the principals arrive and take positions. I hadn't heard of this show, and do to my lack of interest would probably never watch it. I don't have time to watch TV, I'm too busy writing my own scripts for an animated series to do so. I really don't give a crap about who's on the cover of People magazine, who's banging who or what big shot is in rehab. I am not impressed by fame.

The one guy looked kind of familiar, I didn't really care who he was, I just wanted to earn a day's pay. About half way through the day I found out who the actor was, Jason Lee. Wow, ok, I heard of him. When I first moved down to New Orleans two months ago and stayed with Waffle and Diane, they turned me onto a very funny show called 'My name is Earl.' I liked the show from the first time I saw it, it kind of had the feel that I wanted for my future animated show 'BiNGE.'

Ironically before I left New Jersey I sat down with a yellow legal pad and made a list of everyone that I owed money to. Personal, professional and credit card debt. I vowed that I would work my ass off to make good on all owed money. My name is Earl was about a shifty but lovable white trasher from NJ who finds out about Karma while watching a late night talk show. He makes a list on a yellow legal pad of all of the negative things he has done, and sets out to make up for them.
One background extra broke protocol by going up and chatting with the stars. Ordinarily this would lead to automatic dismissal from the set, but for some reason she got away with it.

I think this show...

I think this show is as close as I come to with organized religion. Each episode is a Sunday school lesson.

Another blog of mine...

I never had a very good relationship with my father. An alcoholic who died when I was about 12. I spent the better part of my life either hating him or pretending he never existed. I could easily turn this blog into a project to bash him, however I won't. I spent my life demonizing him. Now let me search for the qualities he had. The purpose of this blog is to examine who he was, and why he was the way he was.

I started it last Father's Day. Being a Dad myself, I realize that it's the toughest role any man can take on. Now that I am a father, over the years I am a lot less critical of my father. I chose to forgive him for his short comings, and I hope my daughter will forgive me of my own short comings. Visit this blog, and meet my Dad.

frankstylesusn.blogspot.com

Butt Freaks From Outer Space

I've been working on Butt Freaks From Outer Space, now it's a "screen treatment." Down here in New Orleans there are a few low budget film production companies. Waffle knows a few people. If he gets me in the door, he gets the lead. I don't want to give too much away of the thoughtful romantic comedy, suffice to say it involves aliens, porn stars and anal probing. If I can't sell it as a film, it'll make a cool comic book.