No place like home...

Back in New Jersey, the number one thing people like to complain about is New Jersey. Too crowded, too expensive, too corrupt, too hectic. If you interrupt their tirade about how Jersey sucks to ask them why don't they move they respond "What?? Leave Jersey?" Residents there have a dysfunctional relation ship with their abusive state spouse. Don't let another state make a joke about it, no matter how true it may be.

When I first moved down here a year ago, I was pretty much jobless, penniless and homeless. Still I felt more at home, more at ease and happier in New Orleans than if I had been given a mansion back in the Garden State.  I have yet to hear a resident here bad mouth the Bid Easy, instead you hear everyone rave about their love of the city like newlywed on a honeymoon.

A new Facebook friend who is serving in the military overseas has been sharing his love story with New Orleans with me. He sent me this Mark Twain quote:
It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
- Letter to Pamela Moffett, 9 and 11 March 1859 

Well I hope I don't make him too homesick, but I'll send him a little Dr. John in return. Stay safe Franklin, I'll treat you to a beer when you get back home.

the punch line state

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York archeologists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: " California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 100 years earlier than the New Yorkers." 

One week later, The Newark Star Ledger, a local newspaper in Newark, NJ reported the following:  "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his back yard, Vinnie 'The Salami' Manziano, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Vinnie has therefore concluded that 300 years ago,  New Jersey had already gone wireless."
 Just makes me proud to be from NJ.

Hey Juan

This time last year I was banging my cab into the curbs up in Jersey, broke and miserable. The garden state had worn me out like an abusive spouse. I was determined to stop being a co dependent of the nation's most dysfunctional state. A fellow cab driver, Waffle had placed in my head the crazy notion of moving to New Orleans. Most of my coworkers didn't think I would ever move. That's the attitude in Jersey, no matter how miserable you are, there is no place else to live.

 I shared my ambitions with Juan, one of my favorite passengers. A young man who if he was any mellower people would check his pulse, an artist and musician. He had friends whose band had played down in New Orleans and told him how great it was. Juan has followed my exploits and struggles since I hopped the barbed wire fence surrounding Jersey and kept running. Between this blog and our facebook contact, he has egged me on and provided encouragement at just the right times.



I'm getting the impression that he's not too happy back in Jersey. The term Waffle kept using to lure me down to the Big Easy was "Come down to be with like minded individuals." Waffle didn't exaggerate. I found folks who were only concerned with creating art, food and music, and for the most part not interested with materialism. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect. This city is filled with either hustlers or the hustled. The economy isn't much better than the northeast, but if you are going to be poor this is the place to do it. A wealthy man will say good morning to a homeless man with as much respect as if he was talking to a judge.

If you come down with a couple of hundred in your pocket and ambition, not only will you survive, I bet you will be a lot happier. When you come down, we'll visit Waffle at Ms May's and have a beer and laugh at New Jersey together.

Will the last person to leave NJ please turn off the lights...

If you have been following my blog about leaving NJ to move to New Orleans to escape the conditions there, you may see that I am not the only one.  Over priced and over rated New Jersey has lost a few residents according to the last census. I have a friend who just left the Garden State for greener pastures a few weeks ago. Unlike me, he moved North to New England. I won't divulge his name, but here are our E mails concerning his exodus.

12/28/10 Eric,

We are moving to Maine tomorrow. We were supposed to be leaving today but we got whacked by the massive snow storm. I am very happy (but nervous) to be leaving. It feels strange to be leaving. The only state I've lived.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

J.

J,

BEST OF LUCK!! I know how scary it is to leave familiar turf. Learning new roads and new customs. Exodus is never fun. I encourage you to start a blog or write about it. Observations on the new people and attitudes, new foods, differences in the two locales. 6 months from now you may look back and wonder why you didn't leave sooner. I am happy for you
E.

Hey Eric,

Thanks. I was nervous. I'm not now... We arrived late yesterday afternoon and between the people in the restaurant at which we ate and the supermarket at which I shopped, I've not encountered more friendly and pleasant people. I didn't know how to react. I could only stare back at them with the grin of a idiot as I was wondering if I was about to be rolled or something... I couldn't figure out why complete strangers would just start talking with me saying nice, friendly and positive things. Odd. Yes, I wonder why I didn't leave twenty years ago. Thanks for the inspiration for leaving!

J.

I know, isn't it scary to meet friendly people? It's like you expect them at any minute to start some sob story to try and get money out of you.  The Jersey thing will stick inside of you like a bad childhood, but eventually you may end up liking humanity. So glad you made it out. "It's a death trap, a suicide rap, we got to get out while we're young..."

E.

Eric,

It's definitely scary to meet people who are truly nice. I never know what to make of the situation. I'm hoping to lose that wariness in Maine. I'm tired of being suspicious of everyone I meet. The bad childhood thing is a good analogy. I'll get over it soon I'm sure. I'm glad I made it out too. And I never understood the lyrics to Born to Run until now.

J.

I've been in contact with another acquaintance who is currently packing to get out of Jersey. I remember thinking most of my life that I couldn't or wouldn't leave the state of corruption. The greatest personal revelation I've ever had was "I don't have to stay here." That notion has applied to many circumstances and situations I've found myself in since.  If you are unhappy in your current state, whether it be geographical, emotional or relational you don't have to stay there.

Don't forget to turn off the lights.

Another reason to leave New Jersey

Several years ago I had a good friend of mine in my cab driving her to work. She told that she was having trouble with a Rabbi stalking her. The damsel was at a disadvantage because the Rabbi was "connected" and she couldn't go to the cops. She told how a couple of times she had been to his mansion in the upscale town of Deal NJ and was surprised to see the entire bottom floor of the large multi million dollar home. When she walked in there were "about 20 Mexicans at sewing machines making fake designer hand bags."

This woman from time to time had been known to exaggerate, I mean, come on Hon, a RABBI is stalking you?  I didn't really want to believe in who or what she might be involved with. I knew the crowd she ran with was, well, shall we say "well organized." I had forgotten about our conversation until about a year later when I was watching the news.

 

For the rest of you in the United States, this is Jersey. Tony Soprano is NOT an exaggeration or fiction, he is an example of why New Jersey is one of the most expensive and inherently corrupt state in the country. Who ultimately pays for it? Consumers and taxpayers, the cost of bribes and kick backs have to come from somewhere. These guys shouldn't be glamorized or made to be heroes. The are low life thugs and and common thieves incapable of succeeding by the rules.

So for those of you who still live in Jersey, you can stay there and pay through the nose to be the butt of jokes. Perhaps a few of you will decide that there might be another place to raise your families, spend your retirement and live your life that doesn't reward evil and corrupt politicians and mobsters.

Flying in my taxi...

Back when I was diving cab in Belmar NJ at night I would get some drunk in the car pissing and moaning about his $12 cab ride. "I bet you guys make $300 - $400 a night." Uh, yea. I worked for a company that had about a dozen or so drivers, each working 12 hour shifts 5 days or nights a week. It was a company owned vehicle that my boss paid for the maintenance and insurance and we split the cost of fuel 50/50.  When fuel prices went through the roof, I had to spend $40 out of my pocket for half of the gas.


My paycheck was based on a 40/60% split of the night's book, 40%  for me, 60% for the company. A good "average" night would be $200 book, $80 for me, $120 for the boss. It was her car, dispatchers and overhead. $200 book might come with $50 - $80 in tips, so $150 a shift in pocket was decent. Of course along with it came abusive alcoholics, college girls puking on you and the constant threat of a crackhead stabbing you in the neck with a rusty knife. In the summer with the "Jersey Shore" crowd the driving was non stop along with the aggravation. A Saturday night in July you might take home $225 with your migraine and hatred for humanity.

When the economy started to take a dive bartenders in my cab were crying the blues too "Everyone is buying a six pack and staying home." I thought "Good, they're all assholes anyway." Of course this didn't pay the bills. The calls for cabs got fewer and the tips dropped off, on a Monday night in the winter I might book $80 with $20 in tips. After dumping $20 to $30 in the gas tank of my Crown Vic I walked away with less than fifty bucks in my pocket for 12 hours of sitting in the cold.

The last few months I drove, by payday I might have $100 in tips, and maybe a $200 paycheck. From the $200 paycheck $110 was taken out for child support. Now for the record I have no problem with paying for my kid. However the state of New Jersey seemed to be under the impression that cab drivers must not report thousands in gratuities. I was liked as a driver, but not that much.




I'd open up my pay check envelope to find a check for $90 for 60+ hours of work. I shared a house with two other guys in a winter rental off of 18th ave where we each paid $700 a month in rent. Yep, $2,100 for a winter rental where the landlord would let himself in unannounced and turn down the thermostat because WE were costing him a fortune. But that's another rambling tirade....


Why did I quit my job and move down here? Do I need to explain further?

An open letter to NJ Governor Christie

Governor Christie,
In March of 2010 I had to quit my job in Belmar NJ driving cab at night after working there for almost 5 years. Working 60 to 70 hours a week I was only taking home $250 or less in my paycheck and tips. After my child support obligation of $110 a week was garnished I was left with less than $150 a week to live on. My rent was $175 a week, so you can see how mathematically I could not survive on the remaining income. Employment opportunities in New Jersey as well as the rest of the nation is so poor that I could not find a better paying position, and with working 70 hours a week a part time job was not an option.

In March I moved down to New Orleans, La. to hopefully find employment and a less expensive environment to live in. Upon arriving in New Orleans and applying for NJ unemployment insurance I was denied benefits because I had voluntarily quit my employment in NJ. I did not quit to move down here for better weather and Mardi Gras, I see myself more as an economic refuge in the vein of the "Grapes of wrath."

After working in the fine state of New Jersey and paying into unemployment insurance for over 25 years without ever collecting it, I was turned down. (By the way, you may want to chat with those down in NJUI about their tones towards taxpayers.)  Employment opportunities down here are not much better, and I am surviving on luck and an occasional day's work.

I applaud your recent efforts to cut back on spending, waste and abuse of taxpayer's dollars. However after 25 years of paying into a system that was suppose to be there in a time of need, I think this warrants a little grace. As of now, I am quite far behind on my child support which I paid weekly in Jersey even though it meant falling behind on all other living costs.

ALL I am asking from the State of New Jersey, is to apply my unemployment benefits towards my child support obligations. Nothing more. I would not personally see or spend a dime of it, the unemployment insurance would go to my ex wife for the benefit of our 13 year old daughter. The money would remain in New Jersey's local economy, and I would fend for myself the best I can here in Louisiana.

Thank you sir for your time, regardless of the out come of my situation I wish you the very best with your efforts in New Jersey.

Eric T Styles

Captain Kirk

I'll admit that sometimes I produce an illustration that makes me say "wow." Not often, but sometimes. This one started in Adobe Illustrator. Re-drawing original drawing in vector. The font also was tweeked to be original. Brought into Photoshop for the next four hours, this is the fini. I hadn't used Illustrator in about 5 years but it all came back to me because I had a great instructor.

I was taught by Kirk Strickland. He's kind of like Yoda when it comes to Mac based desk top publishing. When I first saw his white hair, he reminded me of Steve Martin. Most every skill I utilize to bring my artwork to the internet is done through his instruction. Everything you see on my website artbystyles.com and the finished artwork on this blog wouldn't be online if not for what I learned at DDP Training.

Thanks again Kirk.

16 Parkside Lane

Twenty plus years ago I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it. Many years later I found myself driving cab at night. Despite dealing with people all night long, it's an extremely lonely job.

NOTE: In this song the writer sings about "taking tips and getting stoned" The smoking of the cannabis while on duty would not only be a criminal act but reckless and irresponsible and is not endorsed by this blog. Thank you.  ;)

Thanksgiving Day BiNGE

Last night a friend and I were discussing the holiday. For me it's not that much of a holiday. I don't get into binge eating. Food is one of the few addictions I don't have. Way back when I was an evangelical christian I always thought it odd that "Godly" people love to worship their deity through the sin of gluttony. Any excuse to over indulge the one pleasure of the flesh that they allow themselves in the name of "thanks."

 

After my divorce from marriage and the christian church I decided that year to celebrate the holiday in my own way. I wasn't into football and turned down a number of pity invites to dinner. I went to a local strip club for their annual GOBBLE GOBBLE RAMA. Little did I know that that night would be the start of a wild ride of a life changing time. That night would become episode one of my web comic strip BiNGE.

If you get bored this holiday and want to get away from the bullshit drama of in-laws or room mates, sneak off with your lap top and read this mostly true story of a Thanksgiving I had. I won't say it's anywhere nearly as good as Arlo Guthrie's, but it's pretty damn close.

BINGE

Thank you, come again....

Today I sat in Coop's bar on Decatur talking business with a veteran of the Quarter.  I listened to the war stories like a grunt transfered to Afghanistan from Iraq.  This guy was a hardcore dysfunction junky like myself, having tended bar, bounced doors and hustled at some of the most twisted drinking establishments in New Orleans. He's seen so much of what would cause a middle America to need therapy over after witnessing, it's just wallpaper to him.  I'm not totally green. For five years I drove cab on the Jersey shore.



I got so I could tell what the drunk college girl had to drink that night by the smell of her vomit on my backseat. I've had Belmar PD bounce the head of a drunken Guido off of the hood of my cab while cuffing him, leaving a greasy face print of a grimace on the hood.  I've heard a good friend and coworker scream on the dispatch radio that he had been cut during a robbery. I've driven up on lawns at 3 in the morning to avoid a head on collision with some drunk swerving into my lane because "he could make it home ok." 




Abusive and belligerent drunks picking fights, threatening and pissing me off to the point where I spun the Crown Vic around and gunned the engine aiming for them after I kicked them out onto the street. When my dispatcher said they called him saying I tried to run them over I responded calmly "Who are you going to believe? Some drunk asshole that I had to kick out of my cab or your loyal driver who comes in every night and makes you money?"





 "I have a seat belt and airbag, it's not my car and I hate this job, go ahead, start shit."

Some of my favorite moments were the times I literally threw tip money into the face of customers and telling them to go fuck themselves. I once dragged a drunk from my backseat onto a side walk and rummaged through his pockets taking out my fare plus a very generous tip. I rolled him over face down so he wouldn't choke to death on his own vomit. That was the responsible thing to do. Yea, ok I kicked him in the ass once as I returned to my cab. Once you work in the service industry catering to the likes of the French Quarter or the Jersey Shore, every other profession seems boring.

I can't get enough of this guy

Wouldn't you love to see this guy as President addressing the Federal Reserve, United Nations or China? America might show some balls again.

2012

Originally this blog "From The Jersey Shore to the Big Easy" wasn't going to be about politics. I wanted to just keep it light and fun about moving from one environment to another. To tell folks back in Jersey that they can escape their parkway exit onto greener pastures. Write about all of the wonders New Orleans has to offer and what makes it so unique.

However as an editorial cartoonist from one of the most corrupt and politically manipulative states in the union, I can't keep politics out of it. We as a nation are in one of the most polarized times in decades. As a former Liberal who has watched the hypocrisy and failed policies of the Democratic Party drive down the standard of living in this nation, I have come to terms with being a Neocon.

My only regret about leaving New Jersey is that I can't watch more of this guy in action.  Christie is the politician that most Americans hope for. No bullshit, no favorites, no prisoners. Presidential material? Maybe. I would love to see him on the international stage. Let the world think that America is now being run by Tony Soprano from NJ.

Po-Boys

The most noticeable difference between New Jersey and New Orleans is how they eat their sandwiches. I grew up in Point Pleasant NJ just a mile from the original Jersey Mike's Submarine sandwich shop. Across the country variations of this classic can be found under different names, heroes, hoagies, grinders and down here "Po-Boy." Not to be confused with a "Poor Boy" which is the name for the sandwich farther north on the Mississippi. 

A traditional Jersey sub can have many variations of the contents, Italian meats, turkey, roast beef and cheeses. The constant is the dressing, oil, vinegar and oregano along with lettuce, tomato and onion.  A good sub will drip off of your elbows and cause your eyes to burn if you touch them while eating. A hot sub is usually meatball or some traditional Italian hack slop without the greens or dressing.

In New Orleans, a Po-Boy is "dressed" with lettuce tomato, pickles and mayonnaise.  Or as a Yat would pronounce it, MYNEZ.  A popular hot po-boy is loaded with fried shrimp or oysters (erstas) breaded and fried piled onto the same roll with the toppings. It takes some getting used to for a Jersey boy. I tried to explain to locals the reaction in Jersey one would get if they were to order a submarine sandwich with that dressing.

"Can I get an Italian sub with mayonnaise?"

"With what?"

"Mayo"

"Are you sick? No way, we don't do that here."

"I prefer my sandwich with mayo."

"Fuck you, I'm making it the right way."

"Really, I insist on it having mayonnaise."

"Well, ok, but I'm going to have to spit on it, just out of principle."

I was recently introduced to a New Orleans creation known as a muffuletta. The muffuletta sandwich was invented by Signor Lupo Salvadore, who opened the now-famous Italian market called Central Market on Decatur Street in the French Quarter in 1906.  It's traditional italian meats on a round bread dressed with an olive salad.  The Creole-Italian sandwich is often just called a "Muff." So on your next visit to the Big Easy, I recommend that you dive in and eat a Muff.

"To a New Yorker like you, a hero is type of a weird sandwich, not some nut who takes on three Tiger tanks..."   Oddball

Where Yat?

Driving cab in New Jersey for a number of years I was exposed to and had to understand dozens of accents and dialects. It was good practice for moving down here with Cajuns and Yats. The "Yat" almost sounds like someone from New York City, except spoken lazier. There is an entire vocabulary that needs to be learned in order to communicate with the indigenous population.

My friend Bobby from NJ and I often point out differences in speaking. In Jersey, if you're telling someone something they might not want to here, you preface it with "Not for nuthin, but yo motha is fat." Down here it would be phrased "I'm not sayin yur mamas fat, I'm just sayin..."


ALLIGATOR PEAR - Avocado.
AWRITE - The appropriate response to the greeting "Where y'at?" Also, a greeting in and of itself: "Awrite, Ed!"
BERL - To cook by surrounding something in hot, bubbling 212°F liquid
BOBO - A small injury or wound.
BOO - A term of endearment, frequently used by parents and grandparents for small children, even small children who happen to be 40 years old ... Believed to be Cajun in origin.
BRA - A form of address for men, usually one with whom you are not acquainted. Usually used in this manner: "Say, bra ..." Ostensibly an abbreviation for "brother."
CATLICK - The predominant religion in New Orleans.
CHARMER - The quintessential female Yat. Pronounced .
DA - The.
DAT - That.
DEM - Them.
DERE - There
DESE, DOSE - These, those.
DIS - This.
EARL, ERL - oil
ERNGE, URNGE - An orange-colored citrus fruit.
ERSTERS, ERSTAS - Oysters.
GAWD - A supernatural deity, worshipped by most New Orleanians.
GRIPPE - The flu.
HAWT - A term of endearment used primarily by local females.
I'LL TAKE ME A ... - May I have a ...
LOOKA - The imperative case of the verb "to look".
MAKE GROCERIES, MAKIN' GROCERIES - To do grocery shopping.
MAW-MAW - Ya grandma.
MYNEZ - Mayonnaise.
OR WHAT - Pronounced , and placed at the end of a question: "You gonna finish eatin' dat, 'r what?"
PO-BOY - The quintessential New Orleans lunch, a sandwich on good, crispy New Orleans French bread.

Here is a link if you feel a need to read up more on it yatspeak

I'm just sayin.....

Bust open an eagle

Government contracts are like pinatas to the private sector. Everyone wants to under one with open arms. Contractors swinging a broom handle wildly at a dangling goody filled paper mache eagle. Years ago I worked for a sign company that won a bid to repair some message signs at Naval Weapons Station Earl. The signs to be repaired were overkill when they were installed 20 years earlier, outdated the unneeded "refurbishing" was in the tens of thousands. I think my employer ejaculated when he learned he had been awarded the contract. Evidently the other sign companies must have been even greedier than the business man that I worked for.

My coworker who was the foreman on the job laughed as we inspected the antiquated equipment and wrote up a long list of "must be replaced." The work order was dropped on the desk of the company's owner as he squealed in delight at the thought of getting a check with that many zeroes. Both commented that we would be back in a year or two to completely replace the useless equipment that was to be repaired. This is typical of most if not all private contractors dealing with the government.

The stimulus money was viewed by such degenerates as the ultimate Power Ball Lottery. Every well connected contractor who had insiders steering their bids to the top of the pile drooled with erections waiting to be stimulated by Federal money.  I remember during one of Obama's less than inspiring campaign speeches, he droned on and on about a "Green Economy." A plan where replacing lightbulbs would return America back onto the path of prosperity.





Well, it did for a few.  A Federally funded $119 million weatherization program in the ever corrupt state of New Jersey made a few contractors very giddy.  I'm sure that abuse would've taken place in any of the other 49 states, but not with such blatant overcharges. $27 dollar lightbulbs and $75 carbon-monoxide detectors padded tens of thousands of theft.  Surprised? Not me, business as usual in New Jersey or Chicago or DC....

Yep, some Tony Soprano just got a new SUV.

The Garbage State

Despite all of my beefs with the "Garbage State" of New Jersey, I like this Christi so far. He's got a lot of work ahead of himself if he wants to clean it up. In this clip he's serving up the most sacred of cows, the eduction system. Long history of overpaid scholastic bureaucrats sucking the taxpayer's tits dry.

Cool Jersey Thing

Personally I think Smith is over rated and is getting full of himself. He is however respected by many film makers down here. (BTW, I've been to this store in person and the coffee sucks) 

BS

I still don't like his politics.

Sprung from cages out on highway 9

I've been spending the better part of my creative energies praising New Orleans and bashing my former home of New Jersey.  I have noticed that the vast majority of Americans do use NJ as a punch line. I still have a few good friends left in the Garden State and I don't want to alienate them by deriding their homeland without cause. So, I thought I might offer up some interesting trivia about one of the original 13 colonies.

New Jersey has the highest population density in the country, it averages 1,030 people per square mile. 90% of New Jersians live in urban areas, which is 13 times the national average.  All of it's 21 counties are classified as metropolitan areas. In a 25 mile radius around Paramus, there are 7 major shopping malls, the highest concentration in the world. NJ can also boast the densest concentration of diners, highways, railroads and toxic waste dumps in the nation, as well as the largest petroleum containment area outside of the Middle East, so one perk of living there is cheaper gasoline.  

The highways jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive

Everybodys out on the run tonight but there's no place left to hide

New Jersey is a leading industrial state and is the largest chemical producing state in the nation, and hosts the largest seaport in the U.S. located in Elizabeth. The second leading industry is tourism. Confusing contrasts like the highest car thefts, and lowest suicide rate in the nation. Jersey has the most diverse mix of national origins of any state in the union, with more Cubans living in Union City than Havana Cuba. 

 

Firsts that New Jersey can boast of: first light bulb, first phonograph, first motion picture projector, first motion picture ever made, first intercollegiate football game, first baseball game, first basketball game, first indian reservation, first submarine, first seaplane, first steam locomotive, first Colt revolver, first asphalt street, first radio and television transmissions, first balloon flight, first airport, first transistor and probably hundred of other trivial firsts like the first drive in theater.

"Uncle Floyd" Vivino Aaron Burr Admiral Wm.Halsey Jr. Alan Alda Alan Ginsberg Althea Gibson Anne Morrow Lindbergh Annie Oakley Ben Franklin Bill Haley Bob Reyers Brooke Shields Bruce Springsteen Bruce Willis Budd Abbott & Lou Costello Buzz Aldrin Caesar Romero Cecille b. DeMille Charles Addams Charles Lindberg Christopher Reeve Clara Barton Connie Frances Count Basie Danny DeVito Dave Thomas (Wendy's) Debbie Boone Dick Buttons Dionne Warwick Doris Duke Ed Koch Eddie Murphy Eileen Donnelly Elisabeth Shue Ernie Kovacs Eugene O'Neill Eva Marie Saint

Flip Wilson Francis Albert Sinatra Frankie Valli George Segal Glenn Miller Gorden McCrae Grover Cleveland Ice-T Jack Nicholson James Fennimore Cooper James Gandolfino Jason Alexander Jerome Kern Jerry Herman Jerry Lewis Jimmy Roselli Joan Robertson Joe Pesci Joe Piscopo John Forsythe John Travolta Jon Bon Jovi Joseph Macchia Joyce Kilmer Judy Blume Kelly Ripa Ken Kross Kevin Smith Kevin Spacey Lauryn Hill Liberace Linda McElroy Loretta Swit Marilynn McCoo Marvin Creamer Mary Higgins Clark Melba Moore

Meryl Streep Mike Tyson Milton Friedman Nathan Lane Nick Adams Norman Lloyd Norman Mailer Norman Schwarzkopf Paul Robeson Paul Simon Phyllis Newman Queen Latifah Ray Liotta Richard Conti Richard Nixon Ricky Nelson Robert Blake Robert Wuhl Sal Martorano Sandra Dee Sarah Vaughn Shaq Stephen Crane Susan Sarandon Tom Cruise Tommy Dorsey Vince Lombardi Walt Whitman Whitney Houston William Carlos Williams William Cooper Woodrow Wilson Yogi Berra Zebulon Pike Lloyd Zack Braff

Baby this town rips the bones from your back
Its a death trap, it's a suicide rap
We gotta get out while were young